Dealing with disappointment
DISAPPOINTMENT: A UNIVERSAL EMOTION WE ALL EXPERIENCE
Wikipedia describes disappointment as dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations and hopes to manifest.
People can get disappointed because (1) the things they wanted to happen did not happen; (2) the things that they wanted to happen have not happened yet; (3) the things they wanted to happen have happened (but it was not as expected/imagined).
Disappointment focuses on the outcome rather than the personal choices that led to it.
Sometimes, when we experience disappointment, we may think, "I cannot be happy without this. I cannot carry on. I will not feel complete."
People deal with disappointment in different ways. Some individuals experience immediate anger or rage when faced with disappointment, expressing intense emotions. Others may feel deep sorrow, resort to self-blame, or grapple with feelings of low self-worth as they process the letdown. Additionally, some individuals choose to detach themselves from the situation altogether, perhaps as a coping mechanism to shield themselves from the pain of disappointment.
Which one are you?
When people are angry or anxious, their bodies release adrenaline or cortisol, which makes them want to fight or flee. They may break things or act impulsively.
When sad, they may withdraw into a shell, feel helpless and hopeless, and lose motivation. If we are not careful, this can turn into depression.
Detachment is a valuable skill that allows you to let go of difficult situations and sometimes even challenging people.
Here are some practical ways on how to practice detachment in your daily life:
Redefine Your Emotional Boundary:
It involves refraining from emotional reactivity and instead practicing non-attachment.
Understand that to detach from someone, you must reshape your emotional engagement with them. View your connection objectively, allowing you to release attachment to specific outcomes.
Practice mental detachment and mindfulness.
Take a step back and observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment.
It entails stepping back from the issue and resisting the urge to resolve it immediately. Often, our instinct is to find solutions and improve the situation, yet some problems defy easy fixes and require a more nuanced approach.
Here are some ways to practice healthy detachment:
Prioritize Yourself.
Cultivate self-love and prioritize your well-being.
When you detach from external validation, you become less reliant on others for your happiness.
Practice activities that bring joy and self-compassion, and set healthy boundaries1.
Practice Letting Go.
Recognize that letting go is an ongoing process.
Practice mindfulness, acceptance, and releasing expectations.
Embrace Change and Personal Growth.
View detachment as an opportunity for growth.
As you let go of particular results, you make room for new experiences and understanding.
As the saying goes, “We learn to see the truth and grow as people. Our hearts expand, and we gain freedom. We learn compassion. Turn your disappointments into opportunities."
If you feel unsatisfied with your job, begin by listing your skills and strengths, set new job goals, search for a different job, or consider starting your own business.
If you are disappointed in your relationship, introspect and recognize your self-worth. Understand that it's not always personal. View this disappointment as a part of personal growth. Stop being hard on yourself and let go of the attachment.
If you are trapped in your past, acknowledge that you cannot change it. Instead, learn from it and move forward so that you can fully embrace your present life.
ASK YOURSELF: What are my life goals? What truly matters to me? Positive and negative emotions are inevitable in life. Understanding that emotions are a natural part of life will help us move forward and explore other experiences. Keep in mind that relinquishing attachment doesn't mean giving up on life.
